1. I can take long hot baths because I am not cooking a baby. The epsom salt soaks I've been taking now that it has gotten colder would be totally unacceptable if I were pregnant.
2. I can drink...although I have never been much of a drinker. I prefer to eat my calories in the form of fat, sugary baked goods. Still, I can...and after cycle 3 failed I might have had a Kalua and milk while crying on my kitchen floor.
3. I can drink non-organic half-and-half and not feel like I am robbing my unborn child of a chance at a healthy life. This saves me about 1.50 a week. I still eat organic veggies and grass-fed meat jic.
See? Failing round 5 of IUI isn't THAT BAD. Hearing that insurance has denied my request for fertility help after hearing that I only have one good tube didn't really hit me until last night. It was Thanksgiving and we had all eaten at my sister's house. I was rocking her beautiful, perfect, fat son Luke (a 4 month old that is wider than he is long). My sister, brother and I were talking and I shared about the new news about my tube. My sister has known about every play-by-play IUI for the past 5 months but I never shared with my brother. Telling him about insurance, and the costs, and the heartache of finding out that "my petal will never catch an egg" according to my doctor made the information sink in. As his face dropped with sadness and my sister quietly said they wouldn't try for number two until I had mine I finally felt a shift from being an exciting person trying to have a baby to an infertile person. belch. It's so weird because I always thought it would just happen as soon as I wanted it to, I am chunky and wide hipped and have boobs that could feed 4 kids easy. I can't believe I am not getting pregnant.
